Potty Woes

When I first became pregnant with D, I knew that potty training was not a stage that I was looking forward to. Everyone has said that boys are harder to train than girls and I think I took that to heart. I was more than content to let D stay in diapers, and probably found excuses to leave him in that stage.

The first excuse came with his second birthday. At this time, D was having problems with his speech and we were in the process of having him evaluated for Head Start. Well, he qualified for speech, occupational, and behavior therapy and we found out that we was delayed anywhere from 6 to 8 months in all of his developmental milestones. So D wasn't ready for potty training because he couldn't communicate his need to use the bathroom.

The second excuse came with my pregnancy with C. When we first started D's aggressive therapies, I was 20 weeks pregnant with C and working full time. I had a history of high blood pressure with my pregnancy with D so I was also having more doctor's appointments. At 29 weeks I was placed on strict bed rest (even though I didn't follow doctor's orders on Wednesdays) and started my NST tests twice a week. Dylan's three separate therapy sessions were thrown in there as well.  So D wasn't ready for potty training because I just didn't have the time or energy to tackle this monumental task with him.

The third excuse came with the birth of C and trying to adjust our lives to being a family of four. Every book that I've read said to not push potty training when something is about to change in the toddler's life. The arrival of a little brother was a huge change for D so I decided to wait until he adjusted before we revisited the potty. So D wasn't ready for potty training because C was born and he needed to adjust to life as a big brother before he could tackle the potty.

So three excuses (and probably many others) as to why my 3 1/2 year old is still contently wearing diapers. Three excuses that I no longer feel are valid. I can sit here and think of the should haves, but I just want D to use his potty. Any potty ( he has two).

We've been trying to brooch the topic for six months now and each time D will wait until a diaper or pull up is put back on before he'll go to the bathroom. I've tried the bribes, the "sink the Cheerios", the potty timer, and letting him run around naked to no avail. I think I'm at the point were if something doesn't give soon (i.e. his complete stubbornness at not using the potty) I'm just going to put it on the back burner for a bit. I know being home, I should have "all the time in the world" (thanks Babe) and that I am more stubborn than D is, but really I am tired of the fight. I'm tired of the constant struggle to get him to actually sit on his potty for more than thirty seconds and I'm tired of the nag I've become thinking that if I ask him every twenty minutes if he has to go, he'll actually answer yes. Instead I get, "Not today, Mom, I'm busy." So no more asking.

My Mommy instinct is telling me that he'll tell me when he's ready. That rather than forcing the issue on him, one day he'll tell me that he's done with the "itchies" associated with his dirty diaper and is ready to use the potty. While I am praying that it'll be before he turns four in June, I am ok if it takes longer. No, I won't completely stop (because seriously I am really tired of changing man-size poop) but it's time to take a different approach.