Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Bubble Boy

Is there some giant bubble that I can put C into? As Kel pointed out, we don't want two boys with broken arms. I don't want to even contemplate that scenario or what it'd do to my already frazzled nerves.

But C is seriously making it hard for me. Or maybe it's Kel, leaving things in the backyard that are better left in the garage. Like the ladder he uses to hop the back wall so he doesn't have to take the long way to work.

But this ladder was behind the storage shed, and out of the way of curious climbers.

Of course C would find it.

Does anyone have a giant bubble I can stick this little guy into until he learns more restraint? 


I should have known that this would change D somehow. As Kel put it, it was a life altering experience for his three year old body to handle.

Both physically and mentally.

Physically D is fine, well as fine as one can be with a cast on his dominant hand. He has only asked me to take his cast of once today, as opposed to the 978745467864045 times he had asked me yesterday.

Mentally, D is shaken. Just as I'm shaken. He doesn't want to let me out of his sight, and that is just fine by me. Normal things that he would do for himself, by himself, he now asks me to help him. And he is constantly touching me. A pat here, a hug there, twirling my hair through his fingers as he stands behind me to watch his cartoons in the morning. Needing, I suppose, the tangible proof that I am there and will not be too far away if he needs me to catch him. It makes me sad.

Today was a test. Aunt B wanted to take the boys for the afternoon and dinnertime. She hadn't seen them in a while, and I was all for a little relaxation after the stressful two days that we just had. I had talked to D all morning about how much fun he would have, and for once he seemed very reluctant to go. I thought maybe a nap and another pep talk would help him prepare for some time away from Mommy.

I should have known better.

The minute I got him out of bed, he saw Aunt B and asked begged me to go with him. Aunt B and I talked and talked about all the fun he and C would have on his special afternoon with Aunt B. A trip to Grandpa's shop to drive the truck, a special shopping trip for a toy just for him, followed by dinner with a milkshake. All designed to make him feel better.

He wanted nothing to do with it.

We got him ready and out to the car and he burst into tears. Not the "fake" tears that he was known to shed when he wasn't getting his way. But the snot bursting- red face- alligator tear- gripping my hand kind of sobbing that broke my heart. He wouldn't say anything other than "Please Mommy you come wiff me".

Needless to say, I came inside and had my own snot bursting- red face- alligator tear- gripping my pillow kind of cry. T minus four hours till my buddy comes home and we can snuggle.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Mommy Fail

Yesterday was supposed to be a great day. Instead it turned into a nightmare.

I had Kel leave the car home so that the boys and I could run an errand and then head to the park. However, by the time we made it to the park, D was asking over and over and over constantly to get out of the car and C was trying to beat D with his sippy cup. What I should have done, what I wish I had done, was take the boys home, give them a nap, and then try the park again in the afternoon. What I did instead was scoop the boys out of the car and turned them lose on the playground.

Not five minutes later, and the first accident happened.  C was trying to climb up the stairs to get to the bridge and he was going just a tad to fast. Or a lot too fast, because he ended up tripping over his own feet (how he did that CRAWLING I have no idea) and doing a face plant into the plastic stairs. He cried and bled, and then cried some more. It wasn't horrible, nothing that a wipe or three and some kisses from Mommy couldn't fix. But this should have been a sign to start heading home.

Because this took my attention away from  D. For three minutes it took my attention away from D. And that was all it took.

This is when accident two happened.

At the park I was at, there are two playgrounds near each other, one on slightly higher ground than the other, with rocks separating the two. C and I were on the lower level, cleaning up the little blood that was coming out of his mouth, and D decided that he wanted to go down the slide on the other level. I didn't even hesitate when I told him to go for it, and I'd be right there as soon as C was all better. It was nothing unusual and D knew what he could handle.

There was another mom and her daughter on that playground, and D was having fun showing her how to slide down the "Big Slide". Just as C and I were about to head up to higher grounds, I watch out of the corner of my eye as my three year old becomes Evil Kenevil and does a front flip off of the playground. Right in front of the other mommy.  As I'm racing to my screaming child, I can only pray that he did not break his back or split open his skull or any of the other million worse case scenarios that were playing through my head and that C would not start running into a different direction.

By the time I got to D, he had already stood up and was waiting for me to pick him up and hold him. He couldn't really tell me what happened, other than saying he was trying to climb the ladder, and the other mommy was not helpful as apparently she did not speak English very well. "Why didn't you catch me Mommy?" has been D's mantra for the past thirty three hours and each time he utters it, it is like a knife twisting in my heart. Why wasn't I there? Why didn't I make him wait? What could I have done differently?

 If only, if only, if only. 

If only I had just gone home then D would not have a radial fracture in his right wrist. And he would not be sporting a light blue cast starting at his little hand, going all the way up past his elbow, and ending just below his shoulder.

This bad boy will be apart of D for the next three weeks at which point he'll transition into a splint for another two to three weeks before the doctor thinks he'll be completely healed. Apparently this is a common, defensive fracture for kids his age. Still makes me feel like a horrible, rotten, no good, very bad Mommy.

Ok, I'm done complaining now. At least it hasn't impaired his ability to play his Toy Story 3 game.

Feel better soon my darling, daring, brave D.  

I promise I'll try harder next time and catch you.

Saturday, March 26, 2011


Uh huh.

You can't do that.

Not now.



I believe these are the five most overused phrases in my house at the moment. The boys have been testing the limits recently to see how far they can push Mama. C likes to shake the TV to try and rock it off it's base, climb on top of the (glass) kitchen table, and get into areas of the backyard that aren't ready for a curious little boy yet. D has gotten into the hitting phase with C (especially since C is a little bit of a bully with D), screaming when something gets taken away or he's asked to do something he doesn't want to do, taking things that he's not supposed to, and saying things that no almost-four-year-old should say.

Boys will be boys right?

I don't like having so much negative come out of my mouth when it comes to the boys. Oh I know that I need to say no and try to redirect them when they are doing things that can potentially harm them ( that means no more jumping on the glass table C), but I'm starting to feel like I'm saying no to things that are nothing more than little inconveniences in the plans that I have for my our day. Little things that could cause the greatest joys, even for ten minutes.

I feel like a selfish Mommy.

So I decided that I'm going to relax a little more. If C wants to jump in the mud, who am I to stop him just because he'll need a shower afterwards. If D wants to play on my phone before he falls asleep at night as a way to help him fall asleep in his own bed, who am I to stop him just because I'm afraid that he's going to text people and change my Facebook status. Dirty hands can be washed and Facebook statuses can be fixed, but becoming the No Mom while the boys are so young can never bring back all the adventures that we will miss out on if I don't change. So I'm going to change. I'm not going to worry about what others will think, how dirty the boys (or my house) become, or how far we have deviated from our schedule for the day. When the day is over, all I want is what any other mother wants.

I want my boys to be happy.

Case in point.

We have a nice bird bath in our back yard from our landlord. I've never actually put water in it, but it rained recently and has filled to the brim.  It's not the cleanest water, but it wouldn't kill anyone. C has been trying to play in the water for two weeks now. I always told him no because I didn't want him getting wet and dirty and thus resulting in an afternoon shower.

Yesterday I said yes. 

And it was marvelous. 

C was splashing, and giggling, and soaked.  

C even encouraged D to splash around with him. The same D who hates to have his hands dirty
(Mama's fault) and doesn't find splashing in a bowl full of water his cup of tea. 

But he did. And he enjoyed it. For the thirty minutes that they played before C was so drenched that I knew it was time to warm up. 

I love my boys. I want to make sure that I do what is right for them and what is right for my family. I may not make choices that everyone agrees with, and some that I may look back on and wonder why I made them. But they are my choices to make, and I have the right to make them. This is the right that I was given when I applied for the job of Mommy.

But I will strive to be better. The boys deserve that from me.

I don't have annual reviews with the boss, the hope of a promotion, or the promise of a raise to work towards. I have something better, something that I get every day when C gives me a smile and puckers his lips, or D comes to me demanding a kiss and a hug. I have the love of two awesome little boys and I want to see smiles on their faces, rather than the serious expressions that they've recently been sporting.

I know that I won't be afraid to use the word "No", but I've also realized that I've been abusing the power behind the word. Being a mom is not easy, but there is nothing in the world that I'd rather be.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Happy BIRTHday Little Z!

Today I can officially say I'm the only one in either family that is an Aunt to all girls.

Little Z has arrived! She came fashionably late (by two days) and weighs 7 lbs 9 oz and is 20 inches long. She has a ton of black hair like her daddy, looks just like her mommy, and has the most kissable cheeks I have ever seen (aside from C). I can not wait to meet her and have already bugged Kel about making a trip down there for a weekend.

Congratulations M and L on your precious baby girl. She is absolutely beautiful and her big cousin D can not wait to meet her.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Happy Seventeen Months C!

Weight: 26.5 lbs (63rd percentile)
Length: 33 inches (76th percentile)

  • just got his two top teeth and two more are about to poke through on the bottom for a grand total of eleven teeth.
  • still no molars
  • still drooling up a storm so we may see more soon.
  • has started pushing his morning and afternoon naps together for one long three to four hour nap.
  • still sleeps from 8:00 P.M. to 7:00 A.M.
  • working on taking the binky away completely but we've only accomplished taking it away while he's awake.
  • has recently been waking up in the middle of the night again. Sometimes it's just to reposition himself, and other times it's so he can join me and Kel in bed. 
  • no longer willing to try new foods 
  • most of his meals still end up on the floor
  • the only food that I know he will still eat is his Gerber Graduate Meals.
  • has become bored with a lot of the finger snack foods (gold fish, cheerios, Cheez-It, etc.)
  • will only eat if he can feed himself
  • is doing well drinking out of his straw sippy cups.

  • is now babbling more since he is no longer allowed to have his binky during the day
  • has realized that if he tries to mimic me, then he'll get what he wants faster
  • has started pointing to the refrigerator and "talking" when he wants something to eat or drink.
  • can now say Emo (Elmo), thank you, banana, bye, elo (hello), iii (hi), all done.
  • has learned to wave when someone leaves the room and gives high fives.
  • still working on ba (ball), uh (up), mo (more) and has added bo (book), bed, and shoes to his to do list. 

  • having toys taken away from him by his big brother
  • being put in the playpen when Mommy needs to clean the kitchen
  • when Daddy leaves for work and he can't go outside in the front yard 
  • not being picked up as much as he wants to be. He's turned into quite the little love bug this month.


  • loves to read books

  • but loves being read to more

  • loves to push his car around the back yard more than ride in it

  • loves to climb the blue ladder in the backyard (we need to do something about this Kel)

  • loves to ride Daddy's skateboard like a surfboard

  • had his second ear infection on March 9

  • loves to bring Mommy flowers
  • loves to hang out with his friend D

  • loves to watch the Backyardigans, Blues Clues, and Wonder Pets. 

  • loves to try to play basketball ... with any ball that he can find 

Oh my Buggy where has the time gone? I love you sweet boy :)


Friday, March 18, 2011

A Great Day for D!

Today I am a very proud Mommy. Not that I'm not a proud Mommy every day, but today was special.

It started out with D sleeping in his own bed for the SECOND night in a row. It's so nice to have my bed back! The motivation right now is a special shopping day with Gigi if he sleeps in his bed for seven days. He's very excited for some big boy shopping time with Gigi that it's all he can talk about.

Mommy was having a rough morning today. D was very sweet and and cuddled with me and scratched my arm. When he told me that I needed to "change his stinky pee" I told him to just take his diaper off and put it in the trash can. I left the bottom half of him naked and we continued to watch his cartoon. All of a sudden, he got this look on his face and said "Mommy I need to poop". Well that got me going and so we went to his potty and sat down. He wasn't very happy with it and wanted to sit on the big potty. So I took apart his Cars potty and put the seat on the toilet. He sat down, we talked for two minutes, and then HE WENT POOP IN THE POTTY! I jumped up and start and clapped my hands and was just praising him over and over again and he just sat there and stared at me with a big grin on his face. It finally got to the point were he very calmly said" Mom you already said that to me, you don't need to say it again." So we got his special treat and called Daddy.

It's been a great day so far. No accidents as of yet, but we had to put a diaper on for nap time. He didn't need to go before he went to sleep and I ran out of pull ups. But you better believe that diaper will be off as soon as he wakes up.

The only downer for today is D's weight. Our scale is right by his potty and he wanted to stand on it. I about had a heart attack when I saw it. It ranged right between thirty and thirty one pounds. I made him stand there for three minutes to make sure that I wasn't seeing things. How could he have lost two to three pounds in thirteen days?! So right before nap time I took him to our other scale and weighed him again. And again it was between thirty and thirty one pounds.

I'm flabbergasted. I thought his eating habits were picking up! I don't know what to do at this point. I knew he looked even more skinny to me ( I don't like looking at his tummy when he lays down because I can count each individual rib as well as see his spinal cord when he is laying on his tummy) but nothing that significant. Am I over reacting? Do I take him to a doctor or nutritionist?  What is a doctor going to tell me that I haven't already tried. Unless he has some illness that doesn't have any symptoms but loss of appetite and weight loss. So at this point I am really open to suggestions.



Sunday, March 13, 2011

New Words

When D was two years old he barely put two words together. He also couldn't communicate what he desired or needed. So we had him evaluated and he was diagnosed with a speech delay. As heartbreaking as it was, I was glad that he "only" had a speech delay. For a minute there I thought he had Autism.

So when we were nearing C's one year birthday I was starting to get worried about his speech. He was babbling, saying Mama and Dada, and a few other words, but I thought that he probably should have said a few more. Whether it be because I'm an over achiever or I'm afraid after what happened to D, but I was on a mission with C. He will be on track with his talking and he will NOT fall behind.

Right now my tactic is to reward every new word that he utters. He points and says "coo coo" for cookie? Cookie it is. He brings me a book and says "boo"? Reading time it is, even if we are getting ready for a bath. This, as well as narrating our day, has helped tremendously with C. A big smile for Mommy has also been nice while she's making a fool of herself with the over clapping.

Which brings me to the point of my post. C said a new word on Thursday ( yes I know I'm late). We were at Wal-Mart in the baby section looking for clothes for D. As we were passing by the pajama section C starts to get excited and says "Emo". Huh? Emo? What in the world could Emo be in the baby section at Wal-Mart? As I look around I see the bright red face with the words " I'm Ticklish" written over his head. So I grab the package and show it to C and he literally starts bouncing in his seat, saying "Emo! Emo!" over and over again with a big smile on his face. For the first time, and most likely not the last, C picked out his own pajamas and proudly handed them to the lady at the check out so that Mommy can buy them.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Ear Infections and not so great doctors

Well I finally took C to the doctor's on Wednesday. He's been in such a funk for the past two weeks that I thought it had to be more than teething.

We just got a new insurance starting March 1. I was really sad that we had to leave our old insurance because I absolutely loved the doctor at Kaiser (well technically I think she was a nurse practitioner). She was really warm and actually seemed to listen to any concerns that I had. She could get D to laugh (he's such a tough crowd) and C to sit still (he's such a wiggle worm.) Dr. F we'll miss you!

Wednesday I decided that I was going to just take C in. Fevers, loss of appetite, tugging on ears... this was all going on too long for it to just be teething. So I called the first doctor I could find on the insurance website and made the appointment.

When I got there, I noticed that there wasn't much for a toddler to do. Tons of magazines and books for the older kids and adults, but just a bunch of stuff to be torn up by the little hands of my sixteen month old. It took about twenty to thirty minutes for us me to fill out all the paper work and get verification that we were eligible for the benefits. During that time, D sat in a chair and read his book while C tried to sneak out the door, climb on top of tables, tear up magazines, and flirt with the lady at the front desk.

By the time they called our name I was ready to just go home. We walked to the back, C stood on the scale like a big boy (twenty six pounds with all clothes on and chunky shoes) and we got ushered into a small room on the left. I told the nurse his symptoms, she took his temperature (no fever at this time!), and left. All in under two minutes and without looking at me. Five minutes of waiting with a squirming C and a crabby D and Dr. G walks in. Introduces himself, looks in C's ears, declares that he has an ear infection, and tries to walk out the door.

Wait a minute! I have more questions and concerns for this little guy.

I ask him to check out C's soft spot to see if it's closing properly. A few good pushes on said spot, declares that it'll close by the time C turns two, and tries to head for the door again.

Wait a minute I have another question!

Can you please just feel my son's skull to make sure the bumps I feel are considered "normal" bumps for his age. C loves to climb and run and often falls on his head. Kel and I felt that he had one good sized bump on the top right side of his head, over his ear. So of course its a concern. Again, one (not so good) once over around C's head and he said, "Yup all is normal. Everyone has knots in their skull. Now let me go get that prescription for you and get you guys on your way."

Very condescending.

I didn't even try to bring him back with anymore questions. I just let him go thinking at least I will get some antibiotics for the infection and just bring it up with the actual pediatrician at the practice.

Whom I will insist I see at C's eighteen month appointment. Which of course I can't schedule until the week of his eighteen month birthday. Office practice apparently.

Even though he left much to be desired, at least Dr. G gave me the medicine to bring back my happy Buggy. I am also grateful that this has only been C's second ear infection. Much different than how D was.

Saturday, March 5, 2011


I think D is way too skinny. He's three and a half and I don't think he's changed in weight since he turned two. He likes to hover between thirty and thirty five pounds. Whenever I'd make a comment, Kel'd always brush it off, saying D was just fine and I liked to worry. I talked to other friends and family members, even his pediatrician, and everyone said that he was just fine.

But I can't help but worry. It would easier to pull my hair out one by one sometimes than get D to sit down and eat.You would think I'm trying to force brussel sprouts and liver down his throat with the way that he carries on sometimes. D won't try new foods anymore, won't go near a vegetable, and has started to lose interest in his "favorites". Which I don't blame him, but if he's bored with the "same old, same old" than he should at least try a bite of something new before he decides that he doesn't like it. So for now, I watch him push the food around his plate, drink his milk, and then declare "My tummy is full" and go back to doing... whatever it was that he was doing before I forced him to sit at the kitchen table.

I weighed him tonight and he weighs thirty three pounds. Thirty three pounds! And his height is at thirty eight and three quarters inches. According to that is the thirty fifth percentile for weight and thirty third percentile for height. His BMI is in 16.1 which is in the sixty first percentile so at least he is considered average in that aspect.

Looking back through pictures, it seems like only his facial features have changed in the past year. Like his face has lost its' "toddler look" and has now moved onto childhood. Other than that, the only difference in his two and half picture and his three and a half picture is his hair cut.

This is D in March 2010

This is D in March 2011. Do you see much of a difference? I don't. (Don't mind the grumpy face, but this was the closest pose that I could find to the March 2010 picture.)

I think Kel is finally on board with the whole eating issue because he made sure that D stuffed himself at dinner time. And lucky for me, it wasn't with junk.

I think it's time to take D to the pediatrician again...

See the ribs?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

A New Title

For the past three years, eight months, two weeks, and one day I have been called Mom.

For the past eight years, six months, two weeks, and five days I have been called Girlfriend.

For the past twenty six years, one month, three weeks, and one day I have been called Daughter and Sister.

Yesterday, at 7:32 pm, I got to add a new title to my repertoire.

I am an Aunt.

Not to just one, but TWO beautiful little girls who have already stolen the hearts of many.

MGJ was born at 7:32 pm weighing 5 lbs 4 oz and her little sister MBJ was born at 7:34 pm weighing 4 lbs 10 oz.  They are doing extraordinary well for being born at thirty five weeks one day. My sister is a champ and recovering from her c-section.

Congratulations M and K on your beautiful baby girls. C and D cannot wait to meet their baby cousins!